The Graves

Starring: Clare Grant, Jillian Murray, Bill Mosely, Tony Todd

Synopsis:

Two inseparable sisters visit a remote mining town that turns into a mind-bending fight for survival against menaces, both human and supernatural.

"Mind bending" is right. The Graves gives horror movies and comic books a bad name, perpetuating the myth to the detractors that horror movies are worthless and lame; true in this case.

I really wish that horror comic book writers would stick to what they're good at, if you can call "Lady Death" and "Evil Ernie" good. Alarm bells should have rung but I'm open-minded. After having endured the movie, I'm stunned that this was chosen for the Horrorfest series as normally the films included in this series are pretty good. The Graves made me want to switch off almost immediately and is not representative of the good quality movies that are out there.

The title refers to two sisters, the Graves, who are off on their last bonding session before one of them starts a new job. Almost as soon as the movie starts we get to find out that they're comic book fans. One of them works in a comic store. They get to visit a store before the trip and one of them waves a couple of books at the camera and guess what? Yes, they're titles that the Director is responsible for. Jeez! Get the self-plugging out of the way why don't you?

The pair go off to look for some quirky attraction; the world's largest thermometer or something. This leads them to a remote part of Arizona, of course. Whilst looking to get some chow, the ladies happen across a dingy diner that then points them in the direction of "Skull City" a dingy "attraction" off the beaten track. A "self-guided tour" becomes a fight for survival.

This puts them into harm's way, as a pair of homicidal lunatics hunt them down to allow demons (?) in the form of flies to rip their souls out of their bodies - seriously!

They manage to escape, and that ultimately leads them to a confrontation with a group of religious zealots who appear to have some connection to the flies/demons, to maintain the prosperity of the town, or something. It isn't exactly clear. The final denouement is just plain stupid and horribly points to the intention of a sequel. If there is a God, let him stop any attempt at one.

Explaining just how bad this film is reads like a grocery list. A low budget does not mean low values. Anyone who is familiar with my reviews will know that I love it when I find a movie that costs tuppence, when in fact it looks and feels like it has cost a whole lot more. Sadly, The Graves isn't one of those movies that distinguish themselves by not letting the budget constrain things like a story and good acting. This movie appears content with sticking its finger up at the audience and assuming that the target audience is as dumb as heck.

There is no tension in this movie, no light and shade, and pacing of action or any feeling that you're watching anything other than a badly made fanboy, self-loving exercise. For a genre clogged with stalk and slash hillbilly style hunt and kills, I was crying out for a straightforward one by the end of the movie's duration. Even The Hills Have Eyes 2 was a better watch and that's saying something.

A couple of plusses are; Bill Mosely, who continues a career carved out of making sickos look really sick and twisted. He seems to be the only professional who cares what he's doing and his performance appears to belong in another movie because of it. That might be a bit unfair on Amanda Wyss who plays a creepy waitress to good effect, acting the two girls waaay off the screen during their scenes.

Clare Grant and Jillian Murphy appear to be in this for the craic and not to take their roles seriously, even smiling at inappropriate moments, breaking the 4th wall, and shattering any possible tension that could be wrung out of this. For this reason they come off as couple of booth-girls at comic book conventions. If I didn't know better I would have said that was what they were. Strange that I don't recall a problem with Grant in Mick Garris' Valerie On The Stairs; one of the Masters of Horror stories.

Tony Todd, an actor I have a great respect for, inexplicably goes postal in this as if he's lost the will to live. It's almost as if Mr Todd has thought "Screw this, I'm going to go a bit nuts and liven things up" whilst he overacts; an accusation that I never thought I would level at an actor who is normally such a pleasure to watch.

Aspects of mise-en-scène are actually very good. The diner looks suitably dingy as does Skull City for most of the time. This quality is a frustration because it could have been put to better use.

There is no care put into any of the set pieces. I can understand why the death involving the flies is mainly off-screen but the death of the first attacker is ludicrous. Then there is the attempt of Clare Grant's character to scale a slight incline only to keep sliding down it. At least this was unintentionally funny. The scene involving the two girls tied to a chair is cringe worthy and I wondered what kind of direction, if any, they were getting.

Lastly, I couldn't bear to watch much of the extras, but did see one short segment devoted to watching the movie again, to spot a garden gnome's three appearances. I think that's all you need to know.

Verdict:

I hate being so negative about any movie but this had no real redeeming qualities for me to focus on. This is a movie that will undoubtedly end up on Zone Horror, or whatever that channel is calling itself these days. If you're curious, i'd wait for it then.

1/10 (Wayfarer)

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